i want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday - The Notebook

* yes i am back.. but not for long

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 22:28:24 GMT

yes i am updating again. But i don;t have my internet back yet tho. I am on courtneys computer. Wow ALOT has happend since the last time i wrote in here. Not too much good tho, but yea. Well i just am updating to let u ppl kno who actually read my journal, that yes i am still alive and hopefully soon i will have my internet back on. ttyl. 1

updation

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 05:24:38 GMT

ok well i havnt got my internet back on yet... soo yea all of yous are gonna have to bare with me. Hopefully it will be on soon. ok well im out. I'll try n update when i get chances at ppls houses.

Internet

Sun, 22 May 2005 03:55:33 GMT

Ok well i havnt updated in a while.. But my internet is being cut off for sometime. But I dont kno when it will be back on. G-ma is comming back this wedenesday so that will delay it sometime too. So it will probably be on maybe sometime next week. Atleast i hope so. ok til then ill update or if school doesnt have this website blocked i will update.

A new survey thing

Sat, 14 May 2005 21:48:48 GMT

yes i know i have to update and all im really been updating with are surverys really. But ive updated my xanga.. So look at that. ok here ya go..

wite your answers on a piece of paper and NO cheating!! ( the answers are at the bottom )

1. Which is your favorite color: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

2. Your first initial?

3. Your month of birth

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?

5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Do you like California or Florida more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

9. Write down a wish ( a realistic one).

When your done, scroll down ( dont cheat)...

-----------------------------

Answers:

1. If you chose:

Red- you are alert and your life is full of love

Black - your a re-conservative and aggresive

Green- You soul is relaxed and you are laid back

Blue - you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love

Yellow - you are a very happy person and give good advise to those who are down.

2. Your initial is:

A-K: you have a lot of love and friendships in your life

L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: the year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

April-June: you will have a stong love relationship that will last long but the memories will last forever

July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your sould mate.

4. If you chose..

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time, but it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: you will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not relize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:

California: You like adventure

Florida: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose..

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

9. This wish will come true! Only if you Repost this in an hour.

5th day Mo aint in school

Tue, 10 May 2005 02:59:59 GMT

im finally updating kids!!! ok well here is what happend today.. i got a new xanga journal too. So i got 2 journals now.. so if u wanna see my xanga click here but anyways...

Well Mohamed wasnt here again in school. I dont even kno why. Hes been ouitta school since last fuckin tuesday. He said he hasnt been in cuz he is sad becuz that his cousin died ( of Lukemia ) last week. sooo yea. But i mean atleast come to school ya know? idk what to do. Im mad worried about him. He just seems so sad lately even before his cousin died. I miss him alot and im so worried. But anyways on to my day.. well i got to school hopin that Mohamed would be here, well i didnt see him in the mornin so yea, so then i went to my locka then went to AIS, at first i went on the computer and read my horoscope and did some shit and read some of my frenz journals n shit. Then i got off the comp cuz Nedeem was sittin at the one table to get off and go ttalk to him, he wasnt that talkative today. So then ais was ova and i go to homeroom, nothin too much in there. Afta homeroom i met up wit Ellie n shit and me and her walked upstairs and she went to her class and i went to art. My self portrait is loookin mad good. But i dont think it looks like me at all, well since i havent been updatin that much on LJ and its my first entry on here... but in art weve been doin self portraits and puttin shit we like in the backround. So in mine i got my cheerleadin uniform on and the backround is at the beach. So yea mine is commin out mad good. I talked to Britt n sarah and Jesse a lil bit. Sarah gave me some gum and some mike n ikes thanks mama! hmm then.. afta i went to biology and i knew mohamed wasnt for sure in school cuz i didnt see him. biology was fun cuz there was like no one in school cuz there was a fieldtrip for kids that were in the clubs in school in shit to Beaver Island. There was only like 10 kids in r class, but we read outta a packet and tlaked n shit. It was fun to me. Afta Bio, i went to health put my shit in the class and went in the hall i went up to my frend Jessica to see if i cud use her phone and she said she didnt have it ( i was gonna call Mo and see why he wasnt in school ) so then i went up to Jermaine talked to him for a little then went to health. Noone was in there eitha, and we didnt do nuttin, and theres not that many ppl i talk to in there so i went to sleep. I woke up 5 min before the bell and i had this big ass red mark on my forehead. So then i go up by the door to wait for the bell to ring and me and LaFareld were makin fun of eachotha and he snapped me in the face with a rubbaband. it hurt. So then the bell rang and i seen Rashid ( mohameds cousin.. to know more about shit read my LJ ) and then i went to my locker and Ellie came wit me, and then we went to the lunchroom got chips then went to gym. We went outside for gym and we had to walk around the track then afta we walked we had to hold these things that tell u ur bloodrate or someting. So while me and Ellie were walkin i called Mohamed from Ellies cell and he didnt answer sohe was prolly sleepin. But i left a voice mail askinhim why he wasnt in school and that i was worried about him and yea. So then we walked around a few more times it was hott as hell out and then we went in i changed my pants and shoes and then me and ellie went to lunch. I got a taco salad. it was ight. Not that good, but it wasnt that bad. So then I ask Britt if i can have 50 cents cuz i was still hungry but she said if i got her chnage for a 20. I went up to the lunch line and asked the lady she said she didnt have change. So i go up to Mr Patronik and he said he doesnt have chnage. So then britt asks her friend and he gets her change and she gives me a dollar. i bought a rice krispie and popcorn. i was mad hungry. Then we just talked about some shit thats been goin on wit some ppl in lunch it was ight. Then afta lunch i went to my locker got my shit and went to global. I talked wit Felicia and Charisma before global n shit. Global we had a open book quiz mad easy, and then we did some worksheet, i worked on it wit Mary. Fayza and Ashley werent in global cuz they were on the fieldtrip, and Janae is outta town in Georgia. So yea.. i was by myself. So then global ends and then i go to math. took notes thats really it. Before Math they called Mohamed down the office.. but he wasnt there sooo. Anyways afta math i put my shit in my english class and walked up the hall and met up wit Ellie we walked around for a little while and then i went to english. We didnt do much, just got in these group things. English i was bein annoyed the fuck outta these fuckin immature little ass kids. Need to grow the fuck up.. So then english was ova and then i went to my locker and put my shit away and AShley came up to me and we talked n stuff she had shaving cream all over her from the fieldtrip lol, then i left school and i hopin i wud see Mohamed while i was walkin home.. but i didnt :-/ so i came home.. went on the internet to see if maybe Mo was on.. he wasnt. He didnt even read my mail from the day before. So idk. I called Ellie and we chatted about some things. Then afta i watched some TV and cried a little. idk why. ughhhh then my ma came home with Wendys and i ate and then came on here and decided to update this shit. Yeah, Ellie is fuckin grounded for a week.. sooo i got no1 to really hang wit lol. Sarah idk about her but yea.. its MAD ncie out too, i think imma take a walk at 5. Then my ma said she might take me to AJ Wrights to go get me some capris.... ight well im out. 1

i just copied and pasted this into here from my xanga.. But now i have to update what i did today.. ill do that tomarrow But im out

prom

Sat, 07 May 2005 19:18:40 GMT

ugh it seems like EVERYONE is going to prom.. BUT me. I really want to go this year alot for some reason idk why i just do. Our prom for school is in 26 days i think? June 3rd. But yea now its too late to go with MO cuz ticket sales are over. And i really wanted to go.. wtf i hate him for that. But he said he might end up going with Waleed by themselves.. its like WTF why cant u take me? goddam that makes me so mad. But idk if he bought tickets or not cuz Mo hasnt been in school all week unless Waleed paid for him.. i hope not :-/ i really dont want him to go. idk what to do. I really wanna go to prom with somebody. Owell m just gonna have to wait until next fuckin year. great. well im out. 1

ayy look anotha survey

Tue, 03 May 2005 01:11:31 GMT

yea i kno i kno i need to update.. i will soon. prolly afta this survey. dik

SURVEY

The very detailed Perfect guy survey
His Look: a lil talla then me, looks good, got good clothes, nice teeth, nice hair
Name: Mohamed
Hair Colour: black/dark brown
Hair Style (long, short, bowl cut, cornrows, etc) : fade
Eye colour: brown and beautiful he has mad long eyelashes so they look real nice
Age: he 17
Height: 5'3-5'4 he aint that tall LOL
Size: no idea
Body build: hes pretty built..
Ethnicity: 100% arabic.
Glasses? : hell na
Piercings? nope
Chest hair? : lmfao nope
big ol booty? or no? : yes he as a bahdunkadunk lmao seriously tho he does

Label:

His Mind
in school?: he cud be smarter
what does he want be/do when he grows up?: somethin wit Criminal Justice
Can he speak another language, if yes what?: yes, he speaks arabic
Can he read music?: idk?
Can he read guitar tabs?: idk prolly not
Can he play guitar?: dont think so
piano?: na
the drums?: LOL no
some other instrument? : dont think so
Can he write music? : idk
Will he write songs about you?: if he cud, yea
Will he write poems about you?: yup
Will he be artistic in some way?: idk i guess
Will he "blind you with science?": lmao aint that a 80s song?

His Style
Party hopper or stay at home?: both, but both with me
Straight A student of Drop out?: not a straight A
Does he have a best friend?: yes
is it you?: one of his close friends
Is he straight or bi?: STRAIGHT!!
Religious? what type? : yes i think, hes Muslim

Virgin?: naa

Should he be able to bake or cook?: if he makes good foof
Is it okay for him to have a lot of gal pals?: if they ugly and he wud neva get with them then yes LOL
Out-going or shy?: outgoing
Should he watch chick-flicks?: with me
Would he be a smoker?: na
drinking?: nope
cursing? ya
does he play football(US)?: wen hes wit his frenz
soccer?: i think, mostly wat sport arabics play
baseball?: na
basketball?: with his friends
rugby?: na
golf?: na
does he drag race?: no
does he have a "pimped up" ride?: hes got a nice ass car. GMC envoy XL
Can he surf?: no
skateboard?: no
snowboard? :no
Would he have an accent?: he has a small arabic accent
Anything else?: na

You and Him *last part!*
Does he kiss on the first date?: yes
Where does he take you?: our first date we drove around LOL it was mad fun to me
Does he pay?: duh
Would he lay uder the stars with you and spout random philosophies?: LOL that wud be cute
Would he use endearments?: huh?
Would you hold hands?: all the fuckin time
Would you ever stay the nite at his place?: LOL if i cud
Would he give you flowers/candy or a big expensive gift: YUP
Would he walk you to your door at the end o the nite?: sometimes
How would he propose?: where we first met
Lastly, after you meet, get hitched, etc. What do u name your kids?: Najila ( girls ) and idk for a boy

more surveys!!

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 02:05:57 GMT

i stole this survey from courtneys myspace..

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey

Name: Bianca

Birthday: June 6, 1989

Birthplace: Buffalo, NY

Current Location: Lackawanna, Buffalo, NY

Eye Color: hazel

Hair Color: dark dark brown/black

Height: 5'1

Right Handed or Left Handed: righty

Your Heritage: Italian, Greek, some hispanic..

The Shoes You Wore Today: my timbz

Your Weakness: being worried, loosing people i love and care about.. mohamed.. etc

Your Fears: loosing ppl i love and care about, spiders, bugs, dieing

Your Perfect Pizza: Cheese and pepperoni, stuffed crust from pizza hut

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: start thinking before i act

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol, lmfao, hey, ooo...

Thoughts First Waking Up: what time is it, how much longa can i sleep til

Your Best Physical Feature: hmm mad ppl comment my Tatas, so them i would have to say and maybeeeee my thighs i have thick thighs

Your Bedtime: whenever im tired

Your Most Missed Memory: hmm.. being with mohamed

Pepsi or Coke: pepsi

MacDonalds or Burger King: both

Single or Group Dates: single, but sometimes with a few of my friends with me

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: does it matta?

Chocolate or Vanilla: both

Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino, and iced cappuccinos from Timmy hoes.

Do you Smoke: not cigarettes, weed yes but i think i might quit..

Do you Swear: yup all the fuckin time lol

Do you Sing: not in front of ppl

Do you Shower Daily: yes

Have you Been in Love: yes

Do you want to go to College: yes

Do you want to get Married: yes

Do you belive in yourself: sometimes

Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes

Do you think you are Attractive: sometimes

Are you a Health Freak: naaa

Do you get along with your Parents: my motha, sometimes, my fatha yes

Do you like Thunderstorms: i suppose

Do you play an Instrument: no

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no

In the past month have you Smoked: yes weed

In the past month have you been on Drugs: Yes

In the past month have you gone on a Date: u cud call it that

In the past month have you gone to a Mall: naa havnt been there in a while

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no

In the past month have you eaten Sushi: does tuna fish count?

In the past month have you been on Stage: no

In the past month have you been Dumped: no

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no

In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no

Ever been Drunk: not yet.. thats one goal

Ever been called a Tease: lol haha yea

Ever been Beaten up: nope i aint no punk

Ever Shoplifted: no

How do you want to Die: painless and quick without suffering

What do you want to be when you Grow Up: coroner, does autopsys on dead ppl

What country would you most like to Visit: italy, yemen, puerto rico, brazil, greece, france, egypt

In a Boy/Girl..

Favourite Eye Color: dark, brown or green maybe

Favourite Hair Color: dark, like brown or black

Short or Long Hair: short hair, but fade look with curls/waves on top looks mad nice

Height: a lil taller than me

Weight: bigger than me

Best Clothing Style: stuff that i wear like, Rocawear, Southpole, Ecko, urban/ghetto clothes i suppose

Me some more

Number of Drugs I have taken: 1

Number of CDs I own: a lot

Number of Piercings: 3, 1 in each ear, top of my ear & my belly button

Number of Tattoos: none

Number of things in my Past I Regret: ALOT!!

grind on me

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 01:56:17 GMT

this song Grind on Me by Pretty Ricky is a mad nice song. Its a nice sex song wen u sexin ur man, its mad nice for that. But yea here are the lyrics to the song.. download it bitches its fuckin nice..dam this song makes me wanna do it good to somone.. LMFAOOOO!! anyways

Grind on me - Pretty Ricky

Baby grind with me
Relax your mind take your time with me
I love you deeper if you grind for me
Now come and kiss me till yo body gets weak
Just grind with me baby
Grind with me
Relax your mind take your time with me
I love you deeper if you grind for me
Now come and kiss me till yo body gets weak
Just grind with me baby

When i grind i make'em say ahh
Slow grind be my day job
I grind in the back of my car
Keep it movin like a seesaw
I make'em laugh and giggle
Cuddle a little
Kiss on ya neck
Like girl let me see that thing jiggle
Girlfriend your body's so raw
I could tell you a superstar
B.l.u.e.s.t.a.r.
I could tell around the block how sexy you are
I drink red bull so i keep stamina
What's my name
What's my name
What's my name
Prettie rickie pretty boy
Doing pretty good thangs
Makng pretty good change
Getting pretty good
From these pretty pretty chicks
Getting pretty damn rich
Prettie rickie rickie rickie and the maverix

--Chorus--
Baby grind with me
Relax your mind take your time with me
I love you deeper if you grind for me
Now come and kiss me till yo body gets weak
Just grind with me baby
Grind with me
Relax your mind take your time with me
I love you deeper if you grind for me
Now come and kiss me till yo body gets weak
Just grind with me baby

Light this candle let me set the scene for you baby
Out the shower so fresh so clean baby
Staring in your eyes
I could see the fire
Got you hyptnotized
Do you feel the vibe
Hoooa
Hoooa
Hoooa
Hoooa
Staring in your eyes
I could see the fire
Got you hyptnotized
Do you feel the vibe

Step one
You kissing on me
Step two
Girl you killin me softly
Step three
How you see why you chose me
Step four
And ooh you vibing with me

--Chorus--
Baby grind with me
Relax your mind take your time with me
I love you deeper if you grind for me
Now come and kiss me till yo body gets weak
Just grind with me baby
Grind with me
Relax your mind take your time with me
I love you deeper if you grind for me
Now come and kiss me till yo body gets weak
Just grind with me baby

Slick got mo game than a lil' bit
Baby girl five five brown eyes with the thick lips
Thick thighs with the slim hips
Sugar honey ice t
Baby girls is so sweet and a bag of chips
I like to catch when she coming home
Lights out girl you know it's on
Looking good like a sundae cone
You got me open
No sugar coatin
Love john is strokin'
No joking
Girl i focus
The bedroom smoking
Get some air up in this room girl
Ah ah ah ah
If loving you is wrong
Then i don't wanna be right
So i'm a take my time and do it right
Cause we got all night
Cause we got all night
Baby girl just

--Chorus--

Baby grind with me
Relax your mind take your time with me
I love you deeper if you grind for me
Now come and kiss me till yo body gets weak
Just grind with me baby
Grind with me
Relax your mind take your time with me
I love you deeper if you grind for me
Now come and kiss me till yo body gets weak
Just grind with me baby

MORE SURVEYS YAY!!!!!!!

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 01:50:42 GMT

GENERAL--

WHATS YOUR NAME ; bianca aka B

BiRTHDAY; June 6

EYE C0LOR; green/brown/yellow

HAiR C0LOR; dark dark brown/black

MARiTAL STATUS; single i suppose.. i dont wanna be i wanna be with mohamed..

LiViN iT UP; not really..lol

L0VE --

ARE YOU STRAiGHT,Bi,OR GAY; straight

HAVE Y0U EVER BEEN KiSSED; yes..

BY THE SAME SEX; lmfao.. it was dare. But i aint gay

HAVE Y0U EVER HAD SEX; yes with mohamed..

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN L0VE; yep, still am..

HAVE Y0U EVER BEEN DUMPED; ugh yea

H0W L0NG WAS YOUR LAST RELATiONSHiP; 6 months.. it coulda been longa..

W0ULD U EVA USE A DATiNG SERViCE; hell na

FRiENDS --

PRETTiEST; courtney

NiCEST; sarah

M0ST RUDE; zak lmfao

SMART; court

TALLEST; court again

BiGGEST FLiRT; zak!!!!

GETS ALL THE GUYS; ZAK!!!!1 lmfao jk jk jkjk

THE 0PPOSiTE SEX--

L0NG OR SH0RT HAiR; short.. like a faded cut wit curls on top looks madddd nice, dark colors not blondes

WHAT COL0R EYES; dark colors

SH0RT OR TALL; a lil taller than me

FUNNY OR SERiOUS; both

EMOTiONAL OR TOUGH; both

J0CK OR SKATER; NONEEEEE, ghetto

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 21:08:10 GMT

yea... not in a good mood. i like being invited with my so called friends to hang out sometimes, then wen i do ask to hang out, they hang out with their.... im not even gonna go the rest cuz then i will end up goin off yooooooo. and NO its not mohamed.

survey fuckin time

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 19:37:01 GMT

1. PICK ONE OF YOUR SCARS OUT, NOW HOW DID YOU GET IT? on my arm.. burn mark i burned it on the oven

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? posters

3. WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY FOOTBALL OR WATCH IT? both

4. WHAT SPORT WOULD YOU SAY YOU ARE BEST AT? im good at swimming.. im also good at sex if thats a sport ;-)

5. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE? when i was younga i had a dream that me and my motha were at Tops Groecery store and my mom was at the place where u return bottles n stuff and where they used to have the Keypad things there are numbers on it and shit.. it looks like a calculator.. so anyways my mom was pressing the buttons and got electricuted and died.. but i have ALOT more bad nightmares too many to name.

6. HOW DO YOU EXERCISE? not really.. jus wen i got cheerleadin prac.

7. APPLES OR ORANGES? oranges

8. GRAPES OR WATERMELON? both, but i only like purple grapes

9. WOLVES OR TIGERS? tigers

10. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? rap,r&b,reggaeton,hiphop

11. HAVE YOU EVER WRITTEN POETRY? naa

13. DO YOU REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS? most of the time

14. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 11:42 i think.. i dont remmeber if it was am or pm

15. DO YOU HAVE A BIRTHMARK, WHERE? not that i know of. i think i have one on my arm. Me and mohamed have that thing that i think is a birthmark in the same place on our arms and they look the same.

16. WOULD YOU CALL YOURSELF A ROMANTIC PERSON? yes

17. FAVORITE CHOCOLATE? hersheys? idk?

18. FAVORITE CANDY (NON CHOCOLATE)? mike and ikes

19. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA ICE-CREAM? vanilla

20. FAVORITE COLOGNE? whateva Mohamed wears he be smellin goooooooooood

21. FAVORITE PERFUME? hmmm, the Britney spears kind.. idk alot of other ones.

22. DO YOU OWN AN INSTRUMENT? no

23. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON SOMEONE (OPPOSITE SEX)? they gotta have nice clothes, kicks and definatly nice teeth. Cant have no nasty yellow fucked up teeth, no thanks.

24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? mohamed

25. FAVORITE SOUND THAT YOU HEAR OFTEN? idk

26. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING RIGHT NOW? who do u think.. his name starts with a Mo and ends with a Hamed

27. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? not really but i think i have a few times

28. COULD YOU EVER SEE YOURSELF MOVING FROM WHERE YOU ARE? no

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE OF ALL TIME? Aladdin, Pocahantas, Freaky Friday, Cinderella, The Fox and the Hound, Mary Poppins, Mulan.. alot more

30. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR WHEN YOU WERE TEN? Red i think

31. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? green/yellow/brown

32. HAVE YOU EVER SLEPT WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? yes my bunny that i got on my first easter!!

33. IF SO WHAT WAS/IS IT'S NAME? his name is Bunny. i love him soooo much hes as old as me, his fur is falling off those and its raggity but i love it soo much.

34. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE? this kid Andre

35. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? fades, short.. iono how it is.. but if its long its gotta be braided.. only if u hispanic or black.. but i would prefer short hair thats faded and on the top its curly.. madd nice

36. WHAT ATTRACTS YOU TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? their smile and eyes, and clothes, and how they smell

37. WHO OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS (SAME SEX) HAVE YOU KNOWN THE LONGEST? courtney

38. NOW THE OPPOSITE? zak since 5th grade

39. WHAT IS THEIR MIDDLE NAME? lmao i dont even know

40. SUNRISE OR SUNSET? both :-)

41. WHERE AT? anywhere when your with the person u love..

42. (FOR THE LADIES, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT? anywhere.. but somewhere nice. Not at like mcdonalds or walmart. Something cute like where we first met or some shit.

43. (NOW THE GENTLEMEN, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?

44. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GOING FOR YOUR HONEYMOON? Puerto Rico

45. CAN YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT? i used to

46. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)? idk

47. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER? too many

48. FAVORITE BAND(s) i dont listen to much bands.. i listen to rap, the only bands i listen to are the ones who sing r&b and i have too many of those

49. DO YOU LIKE POETRY? i suppose

50. DRAGONS OR DINOSAURS? dinosaurs i guess

51. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? of course...

52. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? alot of ways, by "making love" lmfao, aka sex, being with them, tellin them yourself... idk however your heart feels the way to tell them

53. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 26

54. BLONDES, REDHEADS OR BRUNETTES?: brunettes or blacks ( not chinese ppl )

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 01:57:17 GMT

well great.. im not goin to prom. This fuckin FOOL needs to make up his fuckin night. i was lookin so fuckin forward to going.. but now im not.. cuz hes "worried" that he wont be able to go and hes gonna have to work.. ok lets see here.. he can take off for FX's but he cant take off for prom? wow what a load of BULLSHIT!!dam this bitch makes me fuckin mad. But i dont feel like talkin about it.. i will in my next entry. But he camova yesturday ( wednesday ) and you kno ;-) hahah ill update wit everything 2marra.

edit;; 4:20 was the best.. i got high as a motha fuckaaaaaa right court? that was fun we all gotta smoke again!!

fixed beepin noise.. and school

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:18:36 GMT

ight hey. well i fixed that beepin noise on my comp its my AIM. SO i turned the sound off the AIM. But anywas, i called Mo last night, we talked for a while, and i asked him if he wanted to stop by to pick up a cd i made for myself to see if he liked it so i cud make him it if he liked the songs on it. I got mostly Rap club songs and Daddy yankee :-) anyways, But he couldnt stop ova cuz his fatha was pickin him up.. i think he was liein tho.. so we got off the phone and i finished up ma lunadry and i went upsatirs around 1:30 and put away my laundry and cleaned my room a little, then went to bed.

I woke up this mornin got ready for school and all that. I wore my hair in this braid it was really cute. But no1 liked it in school, i thought it looked cute... So i get to school, and i walk wit Sarah and Ellie half way to their first periods, then i walk towards my AIS, i see Mohamed and he comes up to me and asks me for the cd. I give it to him and im like" i want it back" and hes like "whateva" ( jokingly) and i turned around and smiled and he smiled back. SO then i went to AIS, did my global sheet and wrote sarah a note. Afta AIS i went to homeroom, then afta met up wit Ellie and Sarah, Ellie gave me some Razzles ( they like this candy that turns into gum ) then i go to art wit sarah, i didnt do anything. I didnt feel like it. I talked really wit Sarah and Brittany. Afta Art i walked to Biology and i seen Mohamed talkin to Yacoob, but we didnt say nuttin to eachotha, then i went back in the hall and talked to Latifa about Macho.. ( i will get to that story afta i update, i have to rewind back to on the phone wit Mo tho.. and fx) So then i go in bio, we did some sheet and that was it. Afta Bio i walked to where Mo was and i talked wit him, i gave him a piece of candy i had, then hes like "hold on" and went into the one room. So i talked wit Tony Garcia and Jermaine, Jermaine was tryin to look down my shirt and Mo seen and i think he got mad.. but i dont care lmfao. Let him get mad. So then i went to health, and we read outta the book, i went to the bathroom durin class and walked around wit Ellie and Kristin then i went back to class. It was mad fun. Afta Health, i rushed out and i seen Mohamed walkin to his gym. So im like wuteva. SO then i seen Jermaine get out the math class and Look at the Prom paper that was on the wall in the hallway. Then i Seen mohamed walk towards the locker room for gym and turn around and looked at me but i kept walkin. Bully, Jermaine and Tony were behind me and i walked up to Jermaine and i was talkin wit all them. Then all of a sudden Mohamed walked behind us and i pretened like to not notice him, and Jermaine didnt kno he was behind us, But then Jermaine was like " bianca i wanna take u to prom ok?" and im like " are u seriously gonan take me?" and Jermaines like "yep i swear i wanna go wit u" and im liek "ok u serious?" and hes like "yes" so i got mad happy. And i seen Mohamed behind us, so i know he heard what Jermaine was sayin but i dont give a fuck. So then i go to my locka and Moahmed aint there no more. So i go bnack up to Jermiane again and im like "ur forreal takin me?" and hes like "yes" and Marcus was behind us and was like " u aint takin her quit liein" ( jokingly ) and jermaine was like "yes i am, look at her she is beautiful " aww lol. So i go to Lab and worked on this lab wit Fatimah and Ashley. It was fun. Then afta i went to my locka again, and i seen Mohamed but he didnt come up to me at all. Then i walked wit Adam to lunch and i seen Mohamed walkin to his digital imaging, but he was madd far up and he looked at me but we kept walkin. Owell. SO i go to lunch, it was ok. nothin to much happened in there, Just Fatimah told me about the baby showa she went to ova the weekend and what happend there. Afta lunch i went to my locka got my stuff and went to global. On my way there i talked to Sarah then i went up. Global just did t a work sheet, and i tlaked wit Ashley and Janae and Fayza. Then i went to math, talked wit Janae and Ahmed. We did notes then we had a firedrill. i was mad happy too cuz Mohameds class was right next to my math class so i would be able to see him durin it. So we got out and i seen him and i was standin next to him somewhat, but he didnt say nuttin to me, he just kept lookin at me. great. ugh. anyways, so then the firedrill was ova, and i got my stuff out my math ( by the time we got in class was ova.. the firedrill was basically at the end of class ) so i put my stuff in my english class and i go in the hall, and i see mohamed, and he ignored me. So im like fuck this grimey shit and i start walkin towards him and im like "hey ugly" and hes like "hey" and he was mad shady like he looked mad. Then while we was walkin hes like " So ur goin to Prom wit Jermaine?" and im like "yea maybe" and hes like "oh" then i went wit him to his biology and hes like "well i gotta go" and im liek "why?" and im like "whats wrong?" and hes like "nothing" and im liek "wuteva" and left and hes like "bye" and i was mad cuz I KNOW he was mad becuz Jermaine said he was gonna take me to prom, I KNOW he got mad. Becuz if he wasnt mad or didnt care that Jermaine said that.. he woulda NEVA asked me in the hall. The way he asked it was like in a way like he was pissed. So i kno he was mad. But jermaine is takin me to prom.. NOT him, so he can get the fuck ova it unless he is takin me. So anyways i go to english and i fell asleep while we was readin Julius Ceasar. Owell. the bell rang and i went to my locka and i got my stuff. So then on my way out i seen Adam and i was talkin to him then i left. Mohamed and Waleed were walkin behind me, Mohamed drives to school now. So im thinkin maybe he will actually ask if i want a ride home from school today.. So i start walkin home.. this was the GRIMEST shit eva... He drives right the fuck past me with Waleed. i was soo fucking pissed u dont even know.. while blastin MY fuckin CD. what the fuck is that shit. That is the LAST FUCKIN TIME i am burnin him a cd or givin him a cd. im done wit that. Cant even fuckin ask me if i want a ride home, that shit is fuckin grimey. SO i came home, and i called Ellie and i told her was walkin ova. So i walked ova, hopin i would see mohamed along the way, but i didnt. So i get to her house, we ate Pizza Rolls and then me ellie and her fatha went to Walmart for ellie to get a new pair of conacts. SO we leave walmart and go back to ellies and just chill. Then about around 6:30, Mohamed drives down the street, but he didnt wave or nuttin cuz His parents were outside talkin to Rashids parents, and YET AGAIN he is blastin ma motha fuckin cd. So then Negeeb, and Gamal pull up to Mo's then Waleed pulls up 5 min lata. Then they all went somewhere. Betta not be wit NO girls. well atleast not Mo. so then me and ellie chilled more then Ellies uncle Jon came home. we asked him if he wanted to take us to DQ. so hes like yea. So then Ellie is like "look there goes Mo and Negeeb and all them" they had their cars parked in Stebes parking lot ( restuarant across the one street from ellies street). then me and ellie walk across the street to her uncles and we wait in the car, ellie was drivin a little but Jon wouldnt let her drive to DQ. so we get to DQ and i get a dilly bar and ellie gets some slushie thing and then Jon takes me home. I came home took a shower and cleaned and now im on here..

ight well wit that Macho dude ( thats his nickname ) Well i already told u about what happned at FX wit Mo about 2 entrys ago.. just read it ova to understand. Well rememba wen i told u in the erntry about the one kid i was wit most of the time and that Mo got jealous wen i was wit him. Well mo was actinlike he wasnt jealous and told me that "he didnt care if i got a bf and to do what i want" LMFAO yea right. Too bad he gets mad cuz i might be goin to prom wit Jermaine AND then i forgot to put on Friday at school, Jermaine werote me this poem thing and i showed it to Mo and Mo got a little jealous and was like "why are u keepin it?" and im like "why do u not want me to keep it " and hes like " u kno why" soooooooo obviously there ya go.. his ass does fuckin care. ANY FUCKIN WAYSSSSS back to the macho thing. Well wen i was on the phone yesturday ( sunday night ) wit Mo, he asked me if i talked to that dude ( macho ) alot and i wa slike "no" and hes like "u are liein " and im like " no i aint" and hes like "yes ua re" and im like "we only talked twice since firday" and hes likle "yea thats a lot form wen u first met on friday" and im like "no it aint" so then Macho had called me on my otha phone while i was on the phone wit Mo... u can tell Mo got mad as fuck cuz he said some shit afta i was off the phone. So i picked up the otha phone and i told Macho i would call him tomarrow and shit. So i went back on the otha phone wit Mo and hes like "see i told u, you and him talk alot" and im like "so what its not like i like him" and hes like "u must do if u gave him ur number" im liek "no thats bein friends hes ugly to me" and hes lik "yea right u lied to me u do talk to him alot" im like "wuteva no i dont" so then hes like "why are u tryin to mess wit otha guys?" and im like "im not" and hes like "yes u are" and im like "wuteva" and hes like " u kno if u keep havin all these guys call u they are gonna think u are a hoe" LMFAO!!!!!! how the FUCK am i a hoe if dudes call me lmfao!! " im like o yea right lmfao" and started crackin up on the phone. But i kno he was mad cuz i am talkin wit Macho that was really it..

OMFG UPDATE!!!! JUST HAPPEND AT 9:00 PM !!! .. guess who just fuckin called me... MO FUCKIN HAMED!!!. I nearly shit my fuckin pants. Hes like " i wanna talk to you" and im like "about what" and hes like "about what happned today" and im like "what happend" and hes like "u know" and im like "what wit jermaine?" and hes like "yea" and im like "cuz he asked me to prom?" and hes like "yea" and im like "why are u mad?" and hes like "cuz u kno why, u kno Waleed asked me to go to prom wit him" and im like "oh well im goin wit Jermaine already, were u gonna go with Waleed by urself?" and hes like 'no i was gonna take u but u are alredy goin wit Jermaine" and im like "yea too late" and he slike " i know" then im like " But u alredy said no" and he slike "no i didnt" im like "yes u fuckin did!!" and he slike " no ".. Readers if u are reading this.. read in previous entries.. it says in one of them about what mohamed said about goin to prom.. anyways we somewhat arugued about him sayin that he wasnt gonna take me, he did say that. but then i told him that i would ratha go wit him than jermaine and stuff. So i guess now me and Mohamed are goin, but not mohamed said he isnt too sure yet and he will let me know tomarrow. Great, he better say yes. But then that was it, we got off the phone and he said he would call me back lata. So yea I KNEW HE WAS MAD!!!! im such a fuckin physciccc!!! i knew he was fuckin mad ahahahahhahaha anotha score for bianca woo woo. ALso then he was sayin that if i ended up goin to prom wit Jermaine that he wouldnt wanna go becuz he wouldnt wanna see me there at prom with other guys. Im like wow ur ass does fuckin care. But yea thats it i will update soon!! i swear this ma fucka betta fuckin take me...

FUCKIN COMPUTA!!

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 01:48:43 GMT

Great. Well i just updated my computer with the Windows updating thing.. and i just restarted it. Well before wen i would dial into AOL it would never have the dial sound.. now it does. But idc about that. But wen i go onto AIM wen i enter in my IM like wha i got to say.. my fuckin comp makes this beepin noise. im like WTF!! Its not the speakas, my speakas dont even work since wen i restored my comp, and I'ts like a beepin in the computa. im like wtffffff. Its mad annoyin. Its only doin it on AIM. Hopefully if i restart the comp it wont do it anymore. Its real annoyin. And im not even gonna bother callin the Dell ppl, because they fuck my shit up and i cant undastand what they say anyways cuz its always some Indian ppl. and plus the only resolution they give me is to Restore my comp. Ive been restorin my comp about 5 times since last year. Im sick of doin it. My comp hasnt beeen acting up cuz i got a virus shit thing, so its been good, but it betta not start actin up now with that beepin shit. ugh. Its gonna get on my nerves and i doubt i will find anything to fix it. WTF. I hate computas i really do. Dells are a piece of shit. I dont want a Dell. I want a E-Machines or something otha than this. DELL fuckin sucksssss dick. OMFG this beepin noise is drivin me nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stop fuckin beepin!!!!! god dam.

well anyways. Today. I didnt do shit. I woke up at 11:30, ate tim hortons came on the internet. Did nothin. It was warm outside, but i just wasnt in the mood to do anything. i took a shower, got dressed, and did nothing. My ma's friend Sandy camova. then she left then i went wit my ma to McDonalds. i got a Hot n Spicy, those are madddddddddd good and fries and a sundae. then i came home, ate and talked on te internet some more. THen my sis went on around 7 and i watched some tv. Then i did some laundry. Then around 9 i called Mo. Pretty good phone convo, i suppose. Then he told me to call him back weneva cuz he had to finish up workin. So imma call him around 10;15-1030. Yea so im doin nuttin now, i finished up the laundry and now my computa is keep doin that beepin shit. omg its sooo annoyin i dont kno whyt the fuck its doin that... ughhhhhh. anyways. well im out ill update eitha lata or tomarrow.

help!!

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 17:31:42 GMT

i wanna post a pic in this entry.. but i dont kno how to? some1 help me to put a pic in here!!

fun saturday night

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 08:10:37 GMT

ight. well im gonna start updatin more frequently. Well afta i updated, i just chilled around the house and i took a showa, and all that shit. Afta that i didnt really do nuttin. I blowdried my hair around 5:45. Then afta i blowdried it i puit this stuff in my hair that my motha bought for my hair to help it from split ends wen i straighten my hair. I put the stuff in.. it slike this hair milk cream stuff.. it made my hair mad greasy. So im like WTF. so then i straighten it cuz i thouight maybe it wouldnt be as greasy afta i straighten it.. it made it worse. My hair had some nasty texture to it. It was like nasty feelin. So im like wtfff. I didnt have time to wash my hair and blowdry it again cuz i was runnin outta time. So im like fuck it, it looks fine. SO i got dressed and shit. Then i went downstairs and i looked at this Pottery Barn Teens magazine i got in the mail. It has mad cute bed sets and shit. I want this one bed set, its mad cute. But anyways, then courtneys ma came and we drove to Donnells. When we got there i was MADD hungry so i rushed him to hurry up so we cud go to the corna store and get some snacks. While we was waitin for donnell, Ronnell ( donnells brotha ) took courtneys cell phone and him and court were wrestlin lol. Then Donnell fiannly was ready, so we walked to the corna store and i got mad food. i was so dam hungry. So then we walked around and we called Alison, and we met up wit her in the park. Then we all walked back to donnells. chilled there. Then alisons fatha neva came to come pick her up.. so Donnell walked her home and me and court weer chillen wit Ronnell and talkin. I made a cd too lol. So then Donnell finally came back about an hour lata. And Donnell was on the phone 3 way wit Alison and her bf. Courtney had fell asleep, but i woke her up. And me and her were talkin and layin in Donnells bed. Then Donnell gets off the phone wit them and we all talk and listen to some nasty ass music donnell had. ew. and then he started dancin lmfao!! Then around 2:30 ma motha came and we drove court home and i came home...

I came in, listened to my cd i made, and ate a donut and came on the internet.I am talkin to court now on the internet. Mo just got off.. he was on for about a half hour.. he didnt IM me tho.. It coulda been him or his cousin.. idk? But yea. that boy is mad confused thats all i know.. Anyways. I dont even kno what else to write, jus updatin u know since i havent in a while. Dam. Well im out gonna finish talkin wit court.

* fx... :-/

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 18:42:18 GMT

well guys.. im finally gonna actually update. But imma just update of what happend yesturday at fx.. But in the past week, things have been goin pretty ight wit me and Mo. just read my entry before this. Idk, but he is confused. how the FUCK are u gonna be engaged.. and act like u care about the girl u gettin married to and act like u gettin married no matta what, then bascially PLAY her wit me and kiss me and all ova me and shit.. make no god dam sence at all. But it dont matta to me, cuz atleast its me that is he kissin n shit not no otha hoes.. well atleast i hope not.

But anyways. Well courtney cameova yesturday around 8:15, she was mad sick. So i told her to get in the showa, and she took a showa and went in my room and went to sleep. i alredy took my showa, so i did my hair and got dressed and got ready. I woke court up about 9:15, she was alredy dressed for the night. So all she had to do was her makeup and do her hair. so then i straighteneed her hair for her and stuff. Then her ma came around 9:45, we went to McDonalds and then went to FX. there was NO line there , so im like yuppppppp. so we got in and i put my coat in the coat thing. there was like NOONE there. well there was ppl there but not that many. I was like wtf. So i put my coat away. and i walked wit court and i seen Mo. He was sittin on the one thing. Lookin bored. He turned around seen me, i screwfaced him a little and walked away. then we found Jim ( courts bf ) and then i went lookin for Felicia and Latifa. Then i hung wit them for a little, Then i went up to Mo. He put his arms around me and held my hands and was like holdin me for a little. Like he used to do wen we was goin out. So then im like " why aint u dancin?" and hes like " im tired." im like "oh" then hes like " why aint u dancin. aint u gonna dance?" and im like " im to tired too" and then i left. So a good song came on and i danced wit this kid Macho ( idk his real name ). so then a few otha good songs came on and i looked for Mo to dance wit him. Then wen i went up to him he like was holdin me again. THen i danced wit him and he was all touchin me and stuff and then he kissed me on my cheek and shit. So then hes like " well im tired" im like "ok" and hes like " ill talk to u lata " im like "ok?" and i walked away. 2 min afta i walked away.. he was dancin wit some bitch. It makes me soooooo fuckin mad. and i thought he was engaged and that he was gonna be true to his religion.. FUCK THAT, fuckin hipocrit.So anyways i danced a few times. then i went back up to Mohamed, and im like" u wanna dance some more?" and hes like "no im tired" im like " right" and we was just standin there and he looked like "annoyed" so im like "whats wrong?" and hes like "nothing" im like "oh:" and then hes like " well i dont like u standin next to me if u aint gonna do nuttin." so im like "whatever fuck u ( to myself) and walked away.Then Me and Macho danced again, and we was against the stage thing where the Dj was. And i think Mohamed was lookin at me dancin wit him and gettin jealous. SO then all of a suden i see Mo get on top of the stage thing, dancin wit some UGLY ass white bitch wit NAPPY curly hair. im like yooo and i got mad. Yea i kno it was JUST dancin, but still and yea i kno that i was dancin wit anotha dude, but he was bein gay and not wantin to dance wit me and shit. But yea ill admit i got jealous. SO he got down from the stage and then i was about to go up to him and press him. So i go up to him and hes is holdin the ugly girls, uglier sisters arm. So i go up to him and shoved him a little and was like, "what the fuck is ur problem?" and he slike "what?" and im like "why was u holdin her hand?" and hes like " i wasnt i was pullin her cuz she was lookin for her sister" and im like "ok yea right" and then hes like "fine then, why do u care" and im liek "becuz i do" and then Im like " and why was u touchin that girls ass n shit" and hes like " we were dancing" and im like "wateva" and then hes like " bianca im havin fun, u can go dance too" . then i got mad and walked somewhere else.I didnt dance that much afta that. i just was standin wit Felicia and latifa. Mohamed went bak on the stage thing, but he wasnt dancin wit no1. then he got off and was standin wit his freinds, and he kept lookin back at me. But before this i think.. his fuckin friends. Ok, well me and Latifa passed them walkin and Mo grabbed my ass and then i screwfaced him then Negeeb was on the otha side and stuck out hios foot and tried to trip me. So i turned around and im liek "fuckin bitch" and shit and NEgeeb just sat there laughin. i swea i was about to go over there and snuff him. But i didnt wanna start shit. But anyways, wen mo kept lookin ova, i wasnt dancin and neitha was he. Then i see him dancin wit some HOE. omfg this girl was a hoe i swea. she was dancin wit this kid DJ that goes to my skool, and she had some short ass skirt on and she was ugly. and wen she was dacnin with DJ she was all liftin up her skirt to rub her cootchie on him and shit. so im like HOEEEEEEEE. SO then mohamed started dancin wit her and i got mad as fuck. He must like Hoes or some shit. Cuz thats all he seems to want to dance wit,except me. but anyways. Then it was almost done and then Mario, Let me Love u came on in Reggaeton Remix, and Mohamed was standin there iwt his friends wtachin me and i danced wit Macho durin that song and Mo kept watchin me. Then afta that song Mario Winans, i Dont wanna kno REggaeton Remix came on too and i had got my coat already, so i didnt dance wit no1 really durin that song, but Mo kept lookin at me too. So then he left, i was like bye and left too. SO then wen i got outside, Mohmaed was talkin to that ugly girl wit the nappy hair and then i seen him and screwfaced him. then i was lookin for courtney and Mohamed was like "come here" and im like "what" and hes like "why u screwface me?" and im like "cuz u was talkin to that girl" and he slike " yea cuz she might need a ride home, shes stranded" and im like 'it didnt look like u was talkin about givin her a ride home" and hes like " bianca im just friends wit her, i knew her longer than u" im thinkin to myself... bitch do i give a fuck? NO! and did he go out wit her and love her.. NO! so otha than that i dont give a fuck. so he can shut the fuck up and suck a fuckin dick. So then hes like " call me wehen u get home" and then he hugged me. Then i got mad as fuck and wanted to snuff that girl so fuckin bad. So then i go up to Felicia and Latifa and tell them what happend and they said they woulda helped me. So then Mo pulled up in his car and the girl and her sister ( the one mo was grabbin her arm ) got int he car and he was lookin out the window and i was screwfacin him and then he gave me like a 'im sorry' or 'dont be mad' face look. im thinkin bitch quit wit the games motha fucka. so then i was madddddddddddddd heated. and then he came back wit his car and i seen the girl wit the nappy curly hair astandin and talkin on her phone, then she got back in Mo's car and they left. so i was mad fuckin heated. So my motha finally came, we took Courtney home and i came home. I called Mohamed. he actually answered. the first thing he said on the phone was "why did u give me that look wen i was drivin them girls home." and im like " i didnt give u a look" and hes like "yea u did, like a look calin me a asshole" im like "so what" and hes lik e"why did u? cuz i was givin them a ride home" im liek "yea" and hes like "bianca ive been friends wit her for a long time and shit" im like" I DONT GIVE A FUCK dam!!!!!" then hes like " them girls in the club was crazy." im like " she was ugly and she has nappy hair" and hes like " the girl in the skirt?" and im like "no" and hes like "the girl in the white shirt that i drove home?" and im like "yea" and hes like "oh" and i was doggin the shit outta the girl he was drivin home and he was callin me a hata. I DONT GIVE A FUCK.. IM NOT HATIN ON HER.. AINT NUTTIN TO HATE ON ABOUT HER.. I WAS TELLIN THE DAM TRUTH ABOUT HER!! so he can shut the fuck up about me hatin cuz i def aint.. sorry aint nuttin to hate on.. So he can shut up cuz He can quit callin me a hata cuz she is the one who got a FUCKED UP GRILL!! so he can quit callin me a hata until THAT GIRL GETS HER GRILL FIXED AND GET SOME NEW KICKS!! anywayssssss so then hes like " im on my way home" im like " u shud stop ova" and hes like "i cant my motha keeps callin me" im like "oh" and then hes like " call me back in 10 min" im like " u aint gonan answer ur phone" and hes like "yea i will" im like "no u wont" then hes like "fine then bye" and im like "no ill call u" . So i call him back in 10 min.. doesnt answa his fuckin phone. then i got fuckin pissed. So i called him back 15 min lata.. didnt answa. Then Macho called me, and we was on the phone for like 5 min. Then i got off the phone wit him, and then I called Mo again.. No fuckin answa. im like OMFGGGGGGGG. so i left a voicemail sayin " i knew u werent gonna answer ur phone, but yea ill be up for a little longa, so call me back if u want. ight bye " then that was it.. he didnt call me back. i was fuckin pissed. Dont fuckin say ur gonna answa ya phone.. then dont. it makes me so fuckin mad. Shit.. thats why i hate tellin Mo about Fx's and goin wen he is gonna be there cuz he ruins my night of havin fun. dam.

well i woke up today at 2:00. I came downstairs and im doin nuttin. Im bored. im prolly gonna hang wit Courtney today. Im prolly gonna take a showa soon. But yea. But i hope things get better wit me and Mo. It has kinda been.. but yea. well im out.

* :-)

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 21:40:56 GMT

well things have gotton somewhat better for me.

mohamed camover yesturday and we kissed and held eachotha.

and i knew.. from that, that we loved eachother. so much.

& i know he doesnt want to get married at all... ill just have to wait things out. i love mohamed so much. but tonight is FX, and he will be there, i will work my charm again..

but yesturday wen he camova.. we cuddled ( in his car lmao ) and he held me and he kissed me and we kissed and we joked, and he bit me all over my arm. i like wen ppl bite me, i love that feelin. So he bit me all over my arms, it felt so good to me. I love that feelin of some1 bitin me, and that otha feelin wen i laugh sooo hard my stomach starts to hurt, and the other feelin that love is wen.. im with mohamed. but anyways, yes i have some welts on my arms now from him biting me, i dont care tho. lol but thats really it. but fx tonight!!

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 20:36:11 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COURTNEY!!

not too much has happend really.. somewhat. lol i will update sometime lata

i love mohamed.

* mother fuckin survey time

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 23:46:05 GMT

I AM: Bianca

I WANT: mohamed to call me

I HAVE: nothing..

I WISH: mohamed wasnt getting married/engaged

I HATE: alot right now

I FEAR: well u ppl should know.. mohamed getting married

I SEARCH: for reasons why things are the way they are

I WONDER: again, yous should know.. why is mohamed getting married and who the girl is and what she looks like and what does she have that i dont have

I REGRET: not thinking before i act.. and alot of other things right now

I LOVE: mohamed, courtney, donnell,.. etc friends and fam

I AM NOT: giving up

I DANCE: when a good song comes on

I CRY: everyday

I WRITE: my feelings

I WIN: at card games

I LOSE: alot of things in my life..

I CONFUSE: myself

I NEED: strength, support,mohamed

I SHOULD: do alot of things...

----------------------

YES or NO:

YOU KEEP A DIARY: i used too

YOU LIKE TO COOK: sometimes

YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: yea i guess

YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE: yes

THE WEIRDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: hmm a few people

THE LOUDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: LOL donnell

THE CUTEST PERSON YOU KNOW: a few...

CLOSEST FRIEND: courtney

THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: courtney, donnell and mohamed

THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: hmmm.. this is gonna be a hard one for you's.. try n guess... MOHAMED

----------------------------

DO YOU...?

HAVE A CRUSH: not really a crush.. but u know..

WANT TO GET MARRIED: yes, and i dont even wanna talk about the word marriage anymore

GET MOTION SICKNESS: sometimes

A HEALTH FREAK: not really

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: hell na

LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: i suppose

-------------------------

CURRENT

HAIR COLOUR: dark brown/black

EYE COLOUR: hazel

BIRTH PLACE: Buffalo, Ny

-----------------------------

FAVORITE

NUMBER: 12,14,22,18

COLOUR: green, orange, blue, pink, red...

DAY: Saturday and friday

MONTH: june,july,august.. but now im startin to hate the summer.. ( if yous didnt no, mo is getting married next summer, that why i hate the summer now )

SONG: too many

FOOD: alot

SEASON: summer..............

SPORT: basketball i guess

DRINK: redbull, pop, water, juice

------------------

PREFERENCES

CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: cuddle

CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: chocolate milk

DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: none.. milk chocolate

VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: both

-----------------------------

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...

CRIED? of course...

HELPED SOMEONE? idk?

BOUGHT SOMETHING? nope

GONE TO THE MOVIES? no

GONE OUT FOR DINNER? na

SAID "I LOVE YOU"? not really, but thought it

WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: no

TALKED TO AN EX? no.. i wish i was ( ahem ) MO

MISSED AN EX? well if u call Mo an exact ex, so yea i do miss him

HAD A SERIOUS TALK? somewhat

MISSED SOMEONE? every second of every day

HUGGED SOMEONE? no..

FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? yea

FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? no
-----------------------------

Name 5 bands you listen to:

1. Daddy Yankee

2. 50 cent/G-unit

3. John Legend

4. Rap

5. Reggaeton

Would you ever....

1. Eat a bug? no

2. have sex? uh yea its been done alredy lol

3. Hang glide? hell yea

4. Kill someone? too many ppl i wanna kill

5. Kiss someone of the same sex? no i aint gay

6. Have sex with someone of the same sex? lmao no

7. Parachute from a plane? prolly

8. Walk on hot coals? no

9. Go out with someone for their looks? looks and personality

10. For their reputation? no

11. Be a vegetarian? no

12. Wear plaid with stripes? hell no

13. IM a stranger? prolly

14. Sing Karaoke? no its ight

15. Get drunk off your ass? prolly

16. Shoplift? no

17. Run a red light? sure

18. Star in a porn video? naaa

19. Dye your hair blue?na

20. Be on Survivor? idk

21. Wear makeup in public? not face makeup, just eyeliner and mascara

22. Not wear makeup in public? si

23. Cheat on a test? :LOL yea

24. Make someone cry? it would make me feel bad

25. Date someone more than 10 years older than you? uh no

26. Stay up all night? sometimes i do

Who you last....:

1. Thought of: moahmed

2. Missed: and again.. mohamed

3. Kissed: i think moahmed on thursday

4. Liked: M-O-H-A-M-E-D

5. Talked to: my sis

* nothing is goin well at all

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 22:19:31 GMT

long time no update.. i havnt been really in the goodest mood the past week.. so yea, well Mohamed is getting engaged, and getting married to some girl in Yemen next summer. Great. the person i LOVE and CARE about so much is getting married, its his fuckin religion to have a arranged marriage. idk why he couldnt say no, but he says he kinda wants to get married to have a "life" and move on. OK how the hell are u gonna have a life wen ur married, he wont be able to do the things he wants to do, like go out with his friends as much, go clubbin and shit if ur gonna have a wife hes gonna be 19 wen hes gonna be married, goddam. ugh i wish it was me that he was marrying.. but its been a long, depressing, sad, upsetting week and its a very long ass story of what happend, most of my friends kno, so i dont need to say anything else cuz its just too long. But He got :"engaged" or w/e 2 weeks afta we broke up, wow took him long to get over me.. but i kno he doesnt wanna get married i kno he doesnt, i think its just becuz of his parents. but yea nothing else too much went on just a very bad week... Destinys Child - Emotions*dedicated to u mohamed*

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ooh yeah

[Kelly]

It's over and done

But the heartache lives on inside (yeah, yeah)

And who is the one you're clinging to

Instead of me tonight

And where are you now

Now that I need you

Tears on my pillow

Wherever you go, go

I'll cry me a river

That leads to your ocean

You'll never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart

[chorus]

It's just emotions, taking me over

Caught up in sorrow, lost in the song

But if you don't come back, come home to me darling

Don't you know, there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight

(Don't you know) there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

Good night, good night

[Beyonce]

I'm there at your side

A part of all the things you are

But you have a part of someone else

You gotta go find your shining star

And where are you now?

Now that I need you

Tears on my pillow

Wherever you go, go

I'll cry me a river

That leads to your ocean

You'll never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotions, taking me over

Caught up in sorrow, lost in the song

But if you don't come back, come home to me darling

Don't you know, there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight

(Don't you know) there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

Goodnight</font>

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Wed, 06 Apr 2005 18:38:59 GMT

hey everyone!!

well guess what!??!

mohameds engaged..

yay bianca!!!!!!!! the person i LOVE is getting married yay!!!! ( but hes not engaged to me )

that makes me so dam happy...adds some more happiness to whats been goin on ;-)

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 22:59:14 GMT

im mad fuckin heated.

im so fuckin sick of this shit...

i've been puttin up wit this shit for a couple of weeks now, and im fuckin DONE!!!

thats a motha fuckin promise.

p.s. i LOVE bein fuckin ditched for the 3rd time already, thank you mohamed for ditchin me i really appreciate it! ;-)

* hung wit sarah

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 21:25:28 GMT

whas good. well yesturday fuckin Mo's phone kept callin my house, and wen it would call all i would hear is the backround of his work, so im like wtf. and he wouldnt answer. so i figured that maybe his phone was callin on accident, or he was bein an ass. but yea anyways, Sarah ended up commin ova around 9. we chilled on the comp for a little, then we decieded to walk up to Timmy Ho's. it was fuckin snowin mad nasty out, but it was fun. we got soaked. we went into Tim Hortons and i was mad hungry. i got a donut and sarah got a donut too and a ice cappucino. we ate, then we went to walgreens, we were hungry for chips and dip, but there was no dip so we were like we will go to the gas station they shud have dip there. so we go across the street and they got dip there, some Kraft kind. then we got chips and pop. Alawi was at the gasstation he kept lookin at us. then we got our stuff and walked back to my house.

i changed my pants cuz they was soaked and i gave sarah somethin to wear. then we went on the comp and ate the chips and the dip. THE DIP WAS FUCKIN NASTY!!!!!!! it tasted like it was in there for like a year and a half. fuckin nasty. it made me gag sooo bad. i dont like eatin chips plain so i just drank my pop. My motha came home around 11:30, and we chilled here some more. Then my motha went to pick up my sis and her friends at exposure, my ma came back and we took sarah home. then we came back. then i went upstairs and watched TV and i called Mohamed but he had his phone off. then i went to sleep.

i woke up today at 3. actually 2 cuz we had to set the clocks forward yesturday. i woke up did nothing and came downstairs i came on the internet, and im mad bored now. its fuckin snowin and its fuckin april. wtf. i just finished my new layout for myspace, daddy yankee, i like itttttt. imma call Mo soon, but im out. ill holla.